Monday, September 3, 2012

Pronounce the name Kweli

Get your hands up like a hijack
http://www.datpiff.com/Talib-Kweli-Z-Trip-Attack-The-Block-mixtape.389953.html


Saturday, September 1, 2012

He Going In


1. Best handshake ever
2. Thought I was the only person to spray cologne there
3. He was about to rape that chick. But luckily her body would shut down and she can't get pregnant.

Saturday, August 25, 2012

Best 2 HOURS on TV





If you don't know, now you know.
September 30th
I will have my popcorn ready.





 GI


I hate to say it...

But I told you so. This was when the STL Cardinals was bullshitting about paying the best player to ever wear a Cardinal jersey, the best offensive weapon since Barry Bonds, and arguably the best hitter of the 21st Century. What happened....well the Cardinals dont sign Albert, he goes to LA and let's look at his stats this year....
2012 Season
AVGHRRBIOBP
.2832886.344

2011 Season
AVGHRRBIOBP
.2993799.366

Problem is...Albert has 40 more games to play. I am a betting man so I would take the over for BA, HR, and RBI for a player playing in a new stadium, against new pitching, with a new team. Not to mention Pujols was hitting .248 with 1 HR and 14 RBI as of May 15th. 

And what did the Cardinals do to replace Pujols....
Well they signed Lance Berkman who is 2 yrs older and never been the model of consistency. His numbers this year...
2012 Season
AVGHRRBIOBP
.26727.389

I guess I can bring up that Berkman was signed for 1 year for $12 Mill, but he has only had 75 at bats due to injury. PEDS anyone????
Cardinals are currently in a 3 way tie for the wild card. They are potentially headed into the playoffs with Allen Craig at 1B. Not to knock Mr. Craig but he doesn't exactly strike fear in your hearts now does he the way a  certain Albert Pujols does right?

Here is the dialogue.
Pay that Pujols

Derrick: he wasnt asking for too much though
10 yr 300 mill
Rodney: ten yeasr
thats a bit much
i could see 5 yeas
Derrick: he wanted to retire a cardinal
Rodney: ok 10 years with a 6th year option clause
Derrick: dont make me school you, ye who knows little about sports
Rodney: i mean my opnion always gon be on point
Derrick: i bet you any money next year he signs for 10 yrs
Rodney: looking at it from business perspective why would i sign u when u already thirty
Derrick: somewhere else
Rodney: still dont make it a good deal
Derrick: because you have seen his numbers
pujols is the model of consisty
Rodney: ok will his numbers be that 6 years from now
Derrick: yep
Rodney: you never know as a business i wouldnt commit to that
Derrick: if not, you cant just pay for the prime years
Rodney: is baseball money guranteed too like nba
Derrick: yep
Rodney: i feel him but i see why cardinals are hesitant to
he make like 16 now right
Derrick: which aint shit in baseball
not for the mvp
let me ask you this, how much did jordan make the last 5 years with bulls?
Rodney: 30 mil right
but bulls didnt commit to 10 year contract either
Derrick: no, jordan didnt commit to contract
Rodney: its like this if he flops which is possible ur still commited to him. i wouldnt do it
Derrick: jordan did 1 yr contracts
because jordan named his price every year
Rodney: ok perfect example
Derrick: pujols not even highest paid cardinal
Rodney: so the bulls are protected
Derrick: no they aint
how long did it take to replace jordan?
because jordan walked away
what protection is in losing
Rodney: well thats a irrelevant question u never will
i will give him 5 years at 30 but not 10
is that even possible. has other people signed 10 year contracts
Derrick: you dont replace jordan, sorry, but how long before the bulls were relevant
Rodney: true
Derrick: arod has 10 yr contract right now
kg had 10 yr
has kg fell off?
Rodney: oh ok so its normal in baseball
Derrick: and thats basketball
Rodney: kg didnt have 10 year contrac
Derrick: not normal, but the big contracts are usually 8-10
yes he did
you dont know what u talking bout so we need to stop talking
Rodney: ok find it then
he didnt
he signed a five year extension
Derrick: we should just stop anyway, you for the business, i'm for the player
Rodney: lol
so kg hasnt fell off but he damn sho aint no 30 million dollar player now
like he was 6 years ago
Derrick: how much he make now?
16
big contracts are back loaded, you pay the big money at the end
garnett make 18 mill
can you justify he not worth that now? i doubt it, without kg they didnt make finals, with him, 2 out of 3
kg is still one of top 10 paid players in league
Rodney: but he not 1 of top 10 players
Derrick: so your problem is if you not the top player, you shouldnt make most money?
Rodney: im not sure how long baseball players run but thats like signing kg to a lucrative deal now 7 years out
thats a no go
Derrick: so if you are top player, they should pay you extra?
cant have it both ways
Rodney: no the contract is the contract
all im saying is. can u say with certainty that pujols will be doing 30 mil dollar stats 7 years from now
Derrick: right, so you gonna pay me max money while im the man and if i fall off, you gotta pay me what you owe
Rodney: i feel that statement
Derrick: i damn near guarantee it
Rodney: ok ima shut up
not the gurantee statement b4 that
Derrick: i gotta write a blog just so you remember this convo

Banger of the Week


Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Run Chad Run


Let's review the facts:
Chad Ochocinco Johnson had a prenup.
Chad Ochocinco Johnson had a prenup.
Chad Ochocinco Johnson had a prenup.
Chad Ochocinco Johnson had a prenup.
Chad Ochocinco Johnson had a prenup.

I'd quit while I was ahead.

Friday, July 27, 2012

Don't Beat Her



Thats my president right there. And he's right. No one should ever hit a woman, within reason. Lets be real, sometimes women try to go to far. Words do hurt, but so do slaps and punches. I like to get even, i'm just saying. But I am not of the Slapahoe tribe, I like to be more creative in my attacks. If you are like me and can't bring your self to Chris Brown level, but do have the urge to get back at your woman, here are a few ways that may not land you in jail.

  1. Alterations - Nothing screams revenge like making a woman feel fat. Nobody ....well some....the hell with it most guys dont care if you have a few pounds on you but that woman surely knows. Have all of her pants brought in 2 sizes. Depression workouts will ensue. Order her favorite meal and watch her skip over it like the plague.
  2. Cut her hair - Women love their hair. Black women really love their hair, even if it came from a 12 yr old Indian girl. Catch her slipping on the couch or in the bed, take off a snip or two, hide the evidence and put on your riot gear. Guaranteed level 5 argument. This also works for the "natural" movement women, when she using your clippers to tighten up that lining, bump her elbow. 
  3. Put bleach in her shampoo - Sisqo. Nuff said.
  4. Have another woman hit her - Call your cousin, baby momma, or momma. Women love to fight for a man, blood or not, if they together or not, or just because they don't like the new woman. Catfights are always bonding moments.
  5. Withdraw all her money out the account - All these I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T women think they the shit with their good credit and new shoes. Write a check and wipe her out. She will be singing one of those Credit Score.com jingles in no time.
  6. Call one of her friends - You know the one. The promiscuously challenged one that you might have already hit in the bathroom at a bbq. You call, she will handle the rest. 
  7. Slip her a micki - Vizine in the drink equals a sore ass in the morning. 
  8. Cut her off. If you keep giving her cheese, that how you spoil a rat. 
  9. Change your number - Women love to call/harass their significant other. Change your number for a few days and let her keep getting the disconnecting tone. 
  10. Drive her car out of gas - Since most women change clothes 42x in the morning before they go to work or anywhere else, leave that car on E. AAA has 24 hour roadside assistance.

If all else fails, follow this how-to video

Sunday, June 10, 2012

Bradley (Vegas) defeats Pacquiao in Split Decision

So this is how you fix a fight? The lead up with a 5 minute bio on the judges and some of their questionable calls. The judges pretty much saying that Bradley carried the fight from round 7 on, which is impossible if you were watching what I was watching. Bradley pretty much stop trying from rounds 3-9. He would jab, move, flinch from Manny's feints, and eat a few left hands. It was obvious he didn't want to force any type of action for the repurcussions that would ensue, mainly eating left hand straights and right hooks. I like most other sane individuals was waiting on the particulars only to be confused at the scorecards of 115-113, and thats when the fix was on. 



I'm officially retired from boxing. I'm moving to Canada and watching hockey.

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

That Aint Right



Irving, the No. 1 pick in the draft, became one of only six rookies to average at least 18.0 points, 5.0 assists and 1.0 steal while shooting at least 45 percent from the field, a list that includes Michael Jordan and Magic Johnson.
He is dead wrong for this. This would have ended my pick up game career if this happened to me and he didnt reveal himself after the game. I would have never ever returned to the court. Ever.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

The Big Red Machine

  • MVP - 1973
  • Rookie of the Year -1963
  • Gold Glove -1969, 1970
  • Silver Slugger - 1981
  • World Series MVP -1975
  • Roberto Clemente Award -1976
     
  • Major League records:
    • Most career hits – 4,256
    • Most career outs – 10,328
    • Most career games played – 3,562
    • Most career at bats – 14,053
    • Most career singles – 3,215
    • Most career runs by a switch hitter – 2,165
    • Most career doubles by a switch hitter – 746
    • Most career walks by a switch hitter – 1,566
    • Most career total bases by a switch hitter – 5,752
    • Most seasons of 200 or more hits – 10 (shared)
    • Most consecutive seasons of 100 or more hits – 23
    • Most consecutive seasons with 600 or more at bats – 13 (1968–1980)
    • Most seasons with 600 at bats – 17
    • Most seasons with 150 or more games played – 17
    • Most seasons with 100 or more games played – 23
    • Record for playing in the most winning games – 1,972
    • Only player in major league history to play more than 500 games at five different positions – 1B (939), LF (671), 3B (634), 2B (628), RF (595)
  • National League records:
    • Most years played – 24
    • Most consecutive years played – 24
    • Most career runs – 2,165
    • Most career doubles – 746
    • Most career games with 5 or more hits – 10
    • Modern (post-1900) NL record for longest consecutive game hitting streak NL – 44
    • Modern record for most consecutive hitting streaks of 20 or more games – 7

    Say what you want about the man, but there will never be another Pete Rose.